Why do I hate… Coldplay!

While listening to his latest single, Chris Martin takes an unexpected nap.

Hate is a strong word, but this is a blog and I need to find some way to be sensational!  SCANDAL! I said I hate Coldplay which probably got you to read more!  I win!! Are you on my side?  Do you want to hang me upside down, sending a rush of blood to the head before bashing my face in?  Do you even care??!

If you’re still reading…I beg you to read through to the end.  You probably know me to be a positive kinda guy, and I am going somewhere with this.  I’m not being a snarky hipster, trust me.

I’ve disliked Coldplay since the early days, when I first heard the song Yellow in a gym in Norman, Oklahoma.  And then heard the song again.  And again.  And again.  WE GET IT!  It was all YELLOW!

I began to refer to Coldplay as ‘Radio-Play Radiohead.’  Every song I heard sounded like an attempt to recreate The Bends for an audience confused by the route Radiohead was taking (keep in mind…Amnesiac was their latest release).  This alone made Coldplay seem cheap and lame to me.

Over-cynical?  Big time, but I was listening to a LOT of music and something about Coldplay seemed off…as though Maurice Starr had decided to branch out and create a rock boyband.  It felt fabricated…I had the image so many music fans probably do: a band trembling in a studio while a bunch of men in suits stand around debating what chord they should play next.  THAT was how I pictured Coldplay.

Yet, in the back of my head, I had the strange feeling that I was wrong.  I do that a lot: see both sides of the picture and effectively ‘take’ both sides.  I wasn’t a fan of the music, so I was public with that perspective.  But in my brain-meats…I questioned.  I even defended them once when a friend and co-worker suggested that Chris Martin was trying to copy Thom Yorke, specifically as an activist.  I noted that it’s very likely that Chris Martin is passionate about his causes, and that it’s kinda weird to think he’s doing it to be like Thom.

Just Do It


But how do I explain The Scientist?



Awesome song.  Even better video.  It’s made me cry.  My hero Aimee Mann even recorded a cover.  How can you hate a band that pulls that off??

Have you ever had a movie, or episode in a TV show, be SOOO bad that working backwards from it you begin to see flaws in the rest of the show?  The Matrix sequels did that for me…I stopped liking the original after seeing the sequels.  I liked where my imagination took me through the world more than the actual storyline.

The Scientist is the reverse of that.  Although I still have this general dislike of the band, I’m more likely to give a song a chance now…that private brain half that can see what the band is getting at.  It’s another example of ‘singles aren’t the whole story.’  Although singles are taking over the pop market, with rock there still is something to be said for the album and the non-single tracks by Coldplay are usually pretty good.  I actually give props.

So maybe I don’t hate Coldplay after all…I just think I do!

Funny thing is…this all came to mind when someone noted that the opening theme song to the TV show ‘Lie To Me’ was by Coldplay, and I thought to myself “Damn…I kinda like that song…”

…turns out it isn’t…it’s by Ryan Star…and apparently this isn’t a freak error.  The YouTube vid I found of the song was put up by a person named coldplayrockss.

I guess we’ve found our next generation…Radio-Play Coldplay?


2 Responses to “Why do I hate… Coldplay!”

  1. MRW Says:

    I had heard “Yellow” on the radio, and thought it was a cool song, but it sounded like a one-hit wonder band at the time, or at least something a bit different from a band I wouldn’t otherwise listen to. And then “Clocks” came out, and I was like “Oh, that’s clever” (musically and lyrically), and it got my attention. And then I found out that it wasn’t a one-hit wonder. And so I bought the album and liked it and then I bought the other two and liked them, and then I bough the singles and liked them.

    And then they released “Viva la Vida”… which was the worst piece of crap I’d heard in literally 20 years (and I’ve bought some CRAPPY music in my day). I kept telling myself “Oh, this is a one-off thing… it’ll get better,” and “OK, third time’s a charm, right?” and “OK, maybe the ‘B’ side (as if it were an LP and not a MP3s) is better, because I’ve seen that happen a lot.” And I forced my way through the whole album clinging to the hope that maybe the last song would be good…. but it wasn’t. Every song was poorly mixed, instruments too loud, vocals too quiet, lyrics that left me thinking “What the hell?”… an one frankensong after another… you know, about 2 minutes of a song with a sudden key change, tempo change, and lyrical change that made absolutely no sense; two songs bolted together at the neck. And they were touring the morning shows and the late night shows promoting the album and all the hosts and critics had this “expression” on their faces, and if any of them asked “Uh, what happened? What’s up with this album?” they’d stomp off the set as if questioning their art was an affront to France itself.

    And shortly thereafter I found out Chris Martin is a vegan. Not a respectable vegetarian, but one of those soy-only lunatics, who forget they have purposely evolved to have cuspids in their mouths. And that’s when I lost *all* respect for the band.

    I’ll occasionally listen to the old albums, but I’d say the amount I listened to them on my iPod dropped off by more than 95%.

  2. DralenDragonfox Says:

    Way back in the the day, this happened to me with Cake. Someone linked me to the video of Sheep Go To Heaven, and I thought it was fun and clever, so I got Prolonging the Magic. I listened to it a bit, and kinda put it down. I didn’t really dig it, and Sheep Go To Heaven had been massively over-played, so I was even tired of that track. Then I got handed their previous album, Fashion Nugget. I listened to that one a lot, and really enjoyed it. Then I went back to Prolonging the Magic, and found that I enjoyed it more in the context of the previous album. The next album made sense to me as a continuation of that evolution. I haven’t seriously kept up with them since Comfort Eagle, but I do want to hear the new album.

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